train of thought.

i hate how almost every freaking song reminds me of you.
& i hate how the only way i can stop thinking of you is by keeping myself busy.
yes, i know i was always busy before, but like i told you, once october ends, i’ll be free most of the time. ikwychofall .

ugh.. it was about to happen. but i didnt it’ll be this soon. that damn regret feeling. it hasnt even been a week! D;

but its better to let him go. i’ve done nothing but caused him so much pain. but seeing another girl replace me is making me feel this way.

the last time i’ve felt like this was with Ocho..

the feeling like my heart stopped & i cant breathe.& i try my best to hold back my tears. :(


ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!
-school
-ditched 3rd & went to Target w/ Danielle & Janelle
- McDonalds
-eskwela
- WalMart w/ Allyson, Janelle, Peter & Lee
- Target minus Lee & add Alyssa
- SAW KATON! :) haha
- back to McDonalds
- home :)

my feet are killin’ me! those boots arent made for walking :p

you’re fucking pissing everyone off! you’re rude & inconsiderate of others. we’ve all had it with you! this is why people dont like you!

• you always use people for rides
• you just grab & eat our food w/o even asking. & you take a lot too!
• you repeat people’s jokes & sayings
• you THINK you’re a player. NOT even close -___-
• you wear the same shirt like 123456789 times in a week
• you think you’re always right
• you’re lazy
• you dont know when to shut your mouth. always fucking telling people shit!
• you THINK youre cool
• you cant dance so dont even try
• you always tag along with us w/o even being invited. that one time hella had me heated

• you’re too picky with girls! this is why you cant get one.

i’d continue but my sister needs the comp >_<

honestly, if you cared about me like you said, you wouldnt have replaced me over night just like that.

i’ll blog about today tomorrow XD haha

i’d just like to say ..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS & DEAJ <3 :)

so, while i wait for my nail polish to dry, i decided to blog about the most fun ass friday of senior year :D haha

honestly, the morning sucked ass. people losing tempers, running their mouths off, & making mistakes that people might not forget for a while. the day was somewhat long & boring. as usual, kicked it in the ASB for some of 6th period but peter was no where to be found. met up with seestar & decided to go to McDonalds for some sweet tea :D i swear, the sweet tea is the BOMB! haha soo worth $1.09 (&that’s with tax). for once, i paid with all coins! :D we walked to Target after & i went to go look for last minute stuff for hc. & yay! i moved up a size ;D . seestar & i saw guy hoodies for $9 !! bought some & then peter & janelle scared us by popping out of no where ! D; after we paid for our stuff, we were bumping music & picked up his sister then headed to his house. we just watched videos, snacked on burritos, & played Rock Band till we had to go. went to target & walgreens to buy disposable cameras for tomorrow. headed up to the school & took pictures at the park. ran into cassandra & helped her with her box for cheer & we caught up :) i miss her! D; then i found seats with the mains. beasted Mater Dei ;D + saw some 09 so fine ;D haha! the half time show was cuuuute! :DDD & the fireworks were amazing. we saw olympian’s too! haha when it was over, i hung out with the guys while waiting for peter. walked james to his car & said hi to marquise & beniza. havent seen them in so long! :D played with alisson’s megaphone with allyson, alisson & janelle. the guys came & were freaking out. & then we all stayed in the parking lot for a bit. cant wait to see them in 14-15 hours! :D

wee! homecoming tomorrow <3

blaaah! i told peter that i’ll not go on the computer today. FAIL haha today was rather.. rushed?
the new ROP teacher talks like a valley girl -___- & her voice irritates me. she talks too loud! once again in econ casas picked on me. gdamn missing the first week of school! feeling the stress of arrangements D; as soon as this weekend is over, i’ll be somewhat stress free. lunch was so-so. kicked it at the ASB with the usuals, but it went by pretty slow. found a vest for james, showed allyson my dress & mask. reminisce about elementary school with Kat & Jon. good ol times <3 hung out after school with the mains & peter & i kept my lovely girlfriend MARYLOUISE AMBATA<3 company ;D haha ! then we ditched her to go to target to look for masks for seestar. ended up pigging out XD i bought some alfredo & a pretzel. gave the rest of my pasta to peter. picked up samantha & gave her the rest of my pretzel. went back to his house so he can change & i talked to his mom & sister. awkward much? haha but she was really nice. i wasnt much of a conversation person >__< i was sooo tired. then the three of us went to H&M to find peter his vest. i found the dress i saw back in August again but it was only $15 :D haha so i bought that & earrings. i thought i had about $16 left in my gift card but i had $24?! haha i hart you my brother <3 then we went to Nestle & they had a Hello Kitty & Kerroppi cookies! <3 omg! i wanted it soo bad haha i tried taking a pic but it came out all phone quality -___-. then we went to cheesecake to get their dad his cheesecake. BAWKWARD! last stop was to Payless to get my heels. peter was surprised at how fast i picked em. i do my research before i shop! haha & also cause i really dont have a choice. i needed shoes ASAP! got home & was locked out for a couple mins >__< but i was playing with the hula hoop to pass the time haha XD

Cinderella
One of your parents is dead.
You are expected to do a lot of chores.
You love to dress up.
You love animals.
You are waiting patiently for your Prince Charming.
Your mom is really strict.
You have sisters who seem kind of jealous of you.
You’re afraid to speak your mind sometimes.
You have left your shoes at a friend’s house before.
You have blonde hair.
Total: 5

Belle
You’ve kissed someone your friends didn’t like.
You’ve been lost in the forest.
You love to read.
You are not shy at all, and not afraid to speak your mind.
One of your family members is a bit weird.
You have done volunteer work.
You have a wild imagination.
You love to take care of people in need.
You’ve had guys like you only because they think you’re pretty.
You’ve rejected at least one person when they’ve asked you out.
Total: 6

Jasmine
Your dad is very rich/important.
You are very clever.
You’ve been with someone way different from you.
You’re unique and different from everyone else.
You’d never marry someone just because they were rich.
You have set a lot of goals for yourself.
You don’t have a lot of friends.(true friends at least)
You’re independent.
You are wealthy.
Your parents try to control your life.
Total: 3

Ariel
Your parents expect a lot from you.
You really try to follow the rules, but it’s hard for you.
You’re a bit of a trouble maker.
You’re the youngest in your family or in the last two.
You have a lot of sisters (three or more).
You collect something.
You have/had long hair.
You have/had a pet fish.
You’re extremely curious.
You believe everything people tell you/you’re a bit gullible.
Total: 9

Snow White
You know that you’re beautiful.
Sometimes it seems like your mom is jealous of you.
You’ve almost been killed.
You have at least seven good friends.
You’ve had food poisoning.
You have/had short hair.
You get along with almost everyone.
All of your friends are different.
You love to have a good time.
You’re happier when you’re out of the house than in.
Total: 7

Mulan
You can be a tomboy sometimes.
People wish you could be a bit more girly.
You’ve pretended to be someone you’re not.
You’ve had a physical fight with someone.
You have/had considered running away from home.
Your parents try to plan your life out.
A lot of your friends are boys.
You sometimes find yourself in bad situations.
You love your family so much that you’d do anything to protect them.
Total: 7

Aurora
You live/have lived with someone other than your parents.
You almost died at a very young age.
You are gentle, loving and/or thoughtful.
You have a decent singing voice.
You like to sleep in late on the weekends.
You spend most of your time outside, or try to do so.
You’re adopted.
You’re very romantic.
Pink is one of your favorite colors.
Total: 5

Pocahontas
You love to walk around and explore big cities.
You are more spiritual than religious.
You’ve been in an interracial relationship.
One of your family members is dead (mom, dad, sister, brother, grandma, grandpa).
Your parents are very protective of you.
Someone you know has been in war.
You have/had black hair.
You would love to move somewhere exotic and beautiful.
You’re very adventurous.
Total: 7

yes it did. my first summer love. i remember when we would talk until 3 a.m. & wake up to text messages from  each other. i remember spending hours on aim talking about the most random stuff. i remember him constantly asking me to go visit him in Temecula. i remember me asking him to go to downtown so we can hang out. i remember him wanting a ” I heart SD” shirt & i wanted a ” i heart NY” one. i remember how sad he was when i went to Del Mar Fair a couple days after he did. i remember how jealous he got whenever i stopped talking to him to go talk to my best friend on the phone. i remember how every time i dont respond within half an hour, he texts me more than once saying, “bub, i miss you..” i remember how on the 4th of July he told me how he wishes he was with me at the park watching the fireworks. i remember telling him that on our first date, i’ll take him to see AJ Rafael perform. i remember him telling me that the next time we run into each other at del mar, we’ll spend the whole day there. i remember him counting down the days he had left in SD & how he wish he can stay longer just to see me at least once. i remember the day he had to go back, he asked me to stay up with him till he got on the plane. i did. the grumpy mood & massive eye bags i got the next morning was worth it. i remember that same night we had nicknames for each other, ” bubba &bubii “. i remember when we first saw each other through web cam. you wouldnt show your face for over an hour. you saw how tired i was & kept telling to go sleep but i told you that ” im not going to sleep until i see your face D; “. after a while you felt bad & you moved the camera. seeing you made me feel like the happiest person in the world. i couldnt stop smiling & neither could you ;p . haha & honestly, your smile was perfect. i remember telling that you should smile more often in your pics ;D & i could tell you were blushing. CUUUUTE! haha i remember the night we first talked on the phone. i felt bad cause you were with your friends but you picked me over them. i was really shy haha. we talked until 3 in the morning my time, around 6 in yours. best 3 hours ever. i was surprised that i managed to stay awake at church XD. i remember our first fight. you jumped into conclusions & was hurt/jealous/mad? it broke my heart. i texted you to get things straight but after that we just fell apart. after, we started to talk on & off. i started school again & you were busy with your friends. i never once stopped thinking about you. i remember finding out about your new girl. i felt replaced. every time im on aim, i see her name & i see how much you cared about her. i was happy for you. you found someone who was prettier than me & who lived in at least the same state as you. i tried to forget about you but i couldnt. i remember after you two stopped talking, you tried to get me to notice you again. & it worked. i was back to my happy self :). the last time we spoke, you told me how much you missed us talking. i told you i felt the same way. i kept almost all the text messages you sent me. they still bring a big smile to my face :) i miss you bubii<3

ugh, i needa stop procrastinating on working on my damn precise. anyone wanna encourage me? :) haha

today was a rough & fun day :) :(

blog about it laterrrr!

btw happy 19 bday bub <3

———- edit

yumm so my ube ice cream is really good right now haha. ranDUMB! XD so this morning i went to seestar’s house & then we headed towards the school. we hung out with janelle in the car & then danielle came. honestly, i liked the other people’s shirts better. met up with the rest of the group & i found out that ms.shorts all day everyday girl was bitchin’ about me but whatevs. i fucking saved your ass! the panoramic photo took FOREVER! & the sun was in our eyes! went back to the parking lot & dipped to plaza. &this is where the fun part of the day begins :D!
- snacked on nachos
- danced all weird in the stores
- tried on the most horrible clothes
- Truth or Dare
- played secret agents
ooh yes ;D
found a homecoming dress! :D $15 yo! haha & the sales clerks were really friendly! haha she knew the same people i did! & the other made sure that other people arent gonna get the same dress. ahh! love em<3 but i love my girls more for picking it out! <3333 stayed there till 1:50ish damn, 3 hours at the mall. my feet were killing me D; hung out at the ASB till the bell rang then got dropped off. aw! no more ice cream D; ahah anyways… went to Sanrio. my sister & i wanted to buy the whole freaking store! no lie! haha i had to spend around $35 to get my bag for $10 (original price was $25). bought Karina’s future baby shower gift ( Feb. 2010!) haha then got me some house slippers (chococat) ! & i got my bagM3 haha i have till nov.1st to turn in our dang stamp cards D; i wanna go back next wednesday for another double stamp day :D wow my blogs are hella random XD

BYE

woah today passed by pretty fast :D ahah hmm.. got dropped off at Allyson’s & got ready for church with her & Diday :) . Saw Einstein (seestar missed her chance >;p ) & Ocho haha. “he shaved his head!” Then this one guy was staring at me,seestar & diday when he was sitting in front of us o__0 take a picture it lasts longer punk! then the guy next to him looks like the filipino version of Mr.Casas :O haha “awkward turtle” “even more awkward!” after mass we said hello/goodbye to diday & rachelle then we started talking about watching Paranormal Activity. even though we’re scared we still wanna watch it. Got back to Allyson’s house & had lunch. Yums :) then we asked/begged her dad to take us to Plaza for a couple hours. He didn’t wanna let Mar go >;) but he ended up going anyways. yay! there’s a Red Robin at Plaza :DD cant wait till it opens. Allyson & i went into a shoe store first. AWKWARD cause her brother was kinda following us. thank goodness he went off in his own lil world. we went into like every freaking girl store there XD. of course we hit up Sanrio! yes! they had more 35th Anniversary stuff<3 but $25 for a bag?! +national city tax? no thanks >__< then we went straight into Macys gaaah! they didn’t have my homecoming dress anymore D; but there was a cute one with pockets ;D &for old times sakes we picked out a couple dresses & tried them on haha! we havent done that since freshmen year! looked at Disney princess style dresses. Cinderella & Belle<3 we went downstairs & we saw the cutest hair accessories ! the headband looked cute on you seestar ;D ” which one should i get?” “idk they’re both cute!” headed straight to Target & i ended up ditching seestar for HK. ahah soo close to buying a pencil pouch >__< . then outta no where Jonjon popped out! haha he reminded me of a banana :D we talked for a bit then Allyson & Mar showed up. went back to Boarders & read magazines till their dad came. Allyson & i snacked on junk food & watched the Disney Channel till i had to go. i tried looking for my old HK lunch boxes but couldnt find it! in the storage my butt -___- but i did find my old HK journal,comb & mirror :D haha & strangely i just remembered that i had a red HK headband. it was my fav<3 aha blaah! time to do laundry. LATERS!

Boredom= looking up random stuff on the internet. i came across a site that lists the 10 most indecent Hello Kitty stuff & lets just say that HK ain’t as innocent as you think haha. & i looked up more hello kitty products & lets just say.. its everywhere. from houses to planes to cars to mens underwear? o___0 haha it got me thinking how much sanrio stuff me & my sister have put together. Lets just say its a LOT ( well, to me at least) lets see shall we?

Sister’s HK stuff:

• rug
• house slippers
• pens/pencils
• pencil case
• notebooks
• those sanrio cards (do those count?)
• 3+ pillows
• glass cup collection
• soup bowl
• figurine
• gift bags

& thats all i can think of for now. i know she probably has more than that

My HK stuff:

• 35th Anniversary Plush from Target :D <3
• ring ( sadly, it broke :( )
• t-shirt
• 2+ wallets
• 2 lunch boxes w/spoon & fork
• 2 tin lunch boxes
• mini piggy bank
• band aides
• blanket
• 1 robe
• 1 wrap thingy
• apron (yes, an apron XD )
• mini drawstring bag
• pencil case
• pencil/pens
• 2 lanyards
• those key chains from McD’s (in the storage :( )
• moon pies (sorry i dont keep food wrappers XD )
• chopsticks
• 2bags
• underwear ( guilty >_< )
• pjs
• HAD gum
• stationary
• box thingy o_0
• journal
• party favor bag
• lip gloss

there’s more but i have to go :p
is it a lot? what do you think? lol

&i’ll post pics of some of the stuff when i have time.

Laters :)

p.s. hi nick :D haha

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN! haha

yesterday wasnt that bad. Movies with mains & Hannah & Samantha. Toy Story 1 & 2 in 3D ;D aha Alyssa beasted us in the trivia during intermission. During the second movie, me, jon, & william kept talking about how the characters are cheating on each other & the Prospector is a dirty old man XD. After the movie, me, Samantha, Brandon, Peter & Jon went to go visit seestar & Janelle. LMAO ” look! that guy looks like ryan!” “Brandon! why’d you change it!” i love them <3 :)

hmmm.. shopping for homecoming dress today? :)

of course i will :)

go to the library. go to the kiddie section. check out a Where’s Waldo book & you’ll find him in there couple times ;D

oh dang! today wasnt that bad. i felt like a lazy ass though.
yay for seeing the mains today at Monte! :D
boo for being the only girl D;
oh well, the apple pie made it better >;) lol

i hate how you’re always busy. &you say im the busy one? you butt. i miss you “/

iLOVE Allyson & Janelle to the max !

MySpace comment from them:

I need my daily dosage of JA and E=MC2 ! Right einstein ?!?1 “

MHM! haha<3

edit; Blast from the past? aww fuck -____-

the point of this is for you to ask anything you want :)
& to keep me busy haha

yes DANIEL, i still want my ice cream ;p haha jk! i miss you my scooter gang buddy :D

no james *cough* i mean uh.. unknown person. i do NOT want to see that picture haha XD

haha what was the full question? uhm. i used to go to church on the daily. but ever since i moved i haven’t gone in a long time. i might go this sunday though :D honestly, i love going to church cause it puts me in a good mood :)

i already have a date for my homecoming. sorry :(